! ............aRe wE wAKiNg uP – A RETROSPECTION..............!

As the country mourns for the young BRAVEHEART, BREAVEHEART the name bestowed by media even falls short to measure her courage line and zeal to come buoyant against all odds, It’s a time for small retrospection. A retrospection of our inner self, a retrospection of our rationalization, a retrospection of our learning and a retrospection of the innervation called BEING HUMAN.

SO WHAT HAPPENED........................? 

 A girl accompanied by her male friend while returning after catching an evening show of the movie Life of Pie was molested and brutally assaulted by a group, sustained some serious internal injuries for almost a fortnight fought hard against all the miseries before finally succumbing to death.  May be it was the inspiring story of the movie shrewd  keenly into her thoughts that instigated her to keep her lifeboat afloat in the sea of agony and pain, positive enough to find the bank of life and justice. But unlike the movie, here everything ended on a gloomy note.

WHAT WENT WRONG......................?

Girl consorted by her male friend a little late in evening that too in Delhi (a rape capital indeed) OR girl’s fate that she met with few beasts blindly driven by their lust OR not very plausible record of capital police to establish a sense of fear among wrongdoers OR the patriarchal face of the society OR the fact that she was a girl?

One of my friend had once shared a post on facebook that a woman while giving birth to a child suffers pain equivalent to that caused by fracturing of twenty bones together. Forget the inevitable problem they face in bearing her child in womb for nine months. And when the child grows (if it’s a male child) he has a feel of male sovereignty by beholding his society. He fails to summon enough respect for her mother, sister and likewise for half the population. Riding high on his male ego, sometimes even promoting at some places that women are the least prioritized thing to be cared off, a man easily blinks behind his high held head and broad shoulders the forfeits by her mother, sisters, wife, and girlfriend. He starts treating women like an article for their need. He starts feeling like he is made to ascendant the women.

In our society her only fault was that she was a girl. A girl who faces foeticide, even before she has opened her eyes, and molestation outside the womb. A friend of mine, she hails from Delhi, keeps her Gmail status “touching mother’s feet at home and molesting woman outside…shame….shame on this creature called man”. When I asked her about this, she replied, “Men – they don’t even deserve a single good thing”. I am not justifying her views but it epitomize the level of the girl’s rage who has sacrificed or bound to sacrifice in her lifetime a lot  for few male faces to get recognition around .

New rules, effective rules can send a message of fear among crooks but its Arabian ways to solve the problem when the convicts even pelted to death by stones. Why can’t the people, be taught to respect the feminism, to accept the existence of women gracefully. It can also be a way to seize the problem. A way of eradicating the problems before they even born.

First time after KARGIL war in my life I have experienced such a nationwide wave of anguish and anger driven by a common cause, common thought & demanding for common questions. Remember the TATA TEA Ad.... “DESH UBAL RAHA HAI, AAYEGA JOSH, DUM, MITHAAS – BADLEGA DESH KA RANG”. Too many people coming together is just a beginning and even impossible can’t last long against determined and decisive efforts.

Sitting in a substation of an electrical utility located very remote from main cities / metros (the worst part of being an engineer) I can’t keep myself away from the agony and the intensifying anger. I also want to serve for the cause though I can’t participate in candle march or the peaceful protests there. How can I or someone else who feels proud to be an Indian can contribute to this undisclosed, the most needed movement? Can we even be a part of this fight for the transformation awaited?

YES, we can contribute for the cause. We can change our disposition and inspire others too. We can start respecting women, practicing the habit of not allowing any one around us harassing women. Inculcating the true human values and righteous thoughts in the growing kids could be the building blocks of a safe and peaceful India. Taking an OATH to build an atmosphere in which women can dwell and roam without any fear, providing the equality of opportunities and facilities bringing in the mental peace for them, can be our first step towards our contribution to bring down the transformation from skyline to ground realities, to make it happen.

If we could keep the fight alive, it will be a true condolence for the BRAVEHEART girl.

RIP.

............I m not good in many things.............

Life is sometimes a treasure hunt. You never know where you may wind up, and sometimes all you can do is to follow the clues. I never knew what inspires me to write. A real background or it may be the spoken word. It may be a sentence that jumps out at me from the written page or something that may have arrived via a friend.
Imagination has always been a great inspiration to pen down something. After a very long time, ‘m again making up with my blog.....with something new....and I really don’t know what is the real motivation or inspiration behind it.

I am not good in many things and its same, covering a day long journey couched on an upper berth in sleeper class of a mail express train and that too after living such few beautiful moments which were mere a dream to me before yesterday.
To love and to get back love is the most beautiful thing that can bloom in a person’s life. I was forced to cross the road holding her hand although she herself used to get afraid near the speeding vehicles and does the same(holding hand of her friend) at crossings...........
...............yeaah, maybe she was trying to be over protective for me.

Walking round the floor, few visible lines on her forehead, holding mobile near her right ear and her long hair playing loose at her face, that’s how she welcomed me.
The most unusual thing with her first appearance and the most usual thing with her appearance was that she was looking very pretty as always befitting a queen even with the ear pain, she was trying to conceal behind her eyes.
I persuaded her few times why don’t we go and see a doctor but she denied (as she don’t want my 30 hrs long reach out ending whole at Docs place).

I am not good in many things and this time I failed whenever I tried to make her smile.........Haan, as a consolation she showed her teeth few times.
The centre of the city is the nicest place for those who hang more often as they know the hideouts there. For us it meant, just strolling into the mall, halting at the bookshops, moving around the hanging garments and deliberately throwing the smile to the guards........... .......(sorry yaar.....next time sure...)

“I will hold you if u will faint”, I replied when she asked me if I could walk in the sun with her........ (The afternoon sun at 13 degree latitude will certainly dehydrate you if you are not prepared) and we started off.............

I am not good in many a things and this time....................in facing her big staring eyes. (As if saying vegetarian hoon nahi to...........). Whenever I tried to be on her right side while walking down the heavily trafficked road, she showed the same.........the same staring, eyes....and I had nothing to reply...in spite to gaze away.
Land has its own beauty and ocean has of its own. But the place where the both meet each other is beyond the limit of beautification. Whenever I got the chance to be at these places it felt like as if the poet inside me is having a duel with the other one inside who use to collect the beautiful definitions for the life...the philosophical one. And this time I was facing the place, the beautiful place with someone even more beautiful, just beside me.


I am not good in many things and this time the mishap occurred with my tongue-eye co-ordination. Frankly admitting, I couldn’t talk her properly while looking into her beautiful chocolaty eyes.....I almost forgot my words few times while witnessing her beauty ........for me, which had just emerged out of my dreams.
She snapped, “Aise mat dekho”.
She wanted to sit just beside the waterline. I offered her my hand while walking and she took it..........only for few steps......... trying to balance herself on the sand.
Soon we were facing the eastern sea winds. We had grounded ourselves on the sand finally. Such an unforgettable feeling, hard to fix in the words, was that. Now she was there, talking freely...............So many things.......and I was there, listening and wishing her talks never get finished. In my mind, it was all perfect
The Sun was gone, almost behind The Queen Mary’s College and she wished..........she should leave. She held my hand for few steps again when I offered during our back journey on sand but soon left my hand. As we took few more steps ahead she got hold of my shirt as she had almost lost her balance. We sat beside the road as I don’t want to leave and she......maybe........maybe not.
Few times I found her face getting blurred in my eyes.........I dnno why.
Finally we started for the return journey. As the auto driver took off the auto, she said him, “Anna slowly – slowly”. .........and again her face got blurred in my eyes, more than once.........a bit frequent this time...................maybe I was having my last 20 minutes with her.......... We were holding each other’s hand........She showed me her other hand and told, “I’ll slap you if you will make such a terrible face.

(A bad face, overlapped with a sad face can’t make a good scene either).

And she slapped me twice on my left cheek, tender touch, as two reminders she set for me and twice on my right cheek against the reminder request made to her by one of my biggest enemy......Us se to mai baad me nipat lungaa ......(mere gussey k liye)....the blurring started again................................................ She held me by arms just for a while and pulled towards her......... (As if a lady wanted to embrace a child who’s crying coz his favourite toy has been taken from him).......but left my arms. Her face was almost drowned in my eyes and this time they broke the barrier.........two narrow lines balancing each side to my nose......I looked away. I dropped her...a formal handshake and as I moved my hand for the last touch.......the driver drove away........................................
Traffic, driver, and the big towers around, everything started getting blurred in my eyes but this time one thing was missing, her face........for which everything was blurring.

I am not good in many things and this time I dint tell the driver to stop..............dint run to her to hold her hand...............to wrap my arms around her..........to say all the things I had said to her countless times...............................to don’t let her go..................to never let her go.
I was in auto.
I was silent but my eyes kept talking.
But I dint let her go.....................................It was she.................................................... ...............who let me walk away.

...chalte-chalte...the meeting and the quest...

The meeting

This post was written on 26th of December but delayed in posting. It’s been a long time since i had actually posted something in my blog.
However, the hiatus is finally over and I am back with a flashback.
I had last thought of writing about my past few days but somehow called off the plan and result is all yours. Today I went for Aamir khan’s new flick 3-IDIOTS and now I am recollecting something from my past b-tech yrs. Although, right now I m in a state of AAMIR-MANIA but this post is something like donning Shahrukh khan, searching a girl as in CHALTE-CHALTE. First meeting 29th April... (Updated from my diary). My Dad was in Jamshedpur to attend a function. I had just finished my Internals and was free enough to give him a visit. We (sanat and I)) planned a bit and after few hours we were in Kharagpur, waiting for the train to cover the rest of the length. We took seats on an upper birth and soon were busy in pulling each other’s leg. We had already noticed a girl, a pretty one sitting with his father just beneath our birth on opposite side. (It’s always easy to notice a pretty girl and we engineering guys are expert in these things, I mean in easy things). She was talking non-stop with his Dad and we were accompanying his father, but only as a passive listener. We were not even able to concentrate on our discussion and leg pulling, which we only do during our engg yrs. She was showing a card to his father and I just got a glimpse on some letters and I guessed her name........ ‘K SHANDILYA’. Soon we got place in front of her and without giving a chance to others we grabbed the seat. But nothing changed much as neither she had noticed us in spite we were right in front of her nor was she in a mood if sanat hadn’t pulled the chain. She was speaking like a superfast train papa, I eat this and don’t like that and bla-bla...............and in evening.....in office. Office! Sanat whispered, but it was loud enough to reach their ears. He did it. I tried to act as innocently as possible and said in a much firm voice, office? Yeaa ! office, my daughter is in a job. This was her father. I thought u were a student, the first thing i said to her.She replied, i am in a job but I am also a student of FRANKFINN academy.I inquired little more but her answers meant like she’s not willing to keep on talking with me. But her father showed some encouraging gesture and started talking with us. Good omen, I thought. She joined us finally whether willingly or unwillingly I dnno but omens were really showing their effect. Soon, sanat was busy in talking with Mr NatthuRam(He’d a big moustache.....NatthuRam type) and I was trying hard to match-up with the beauty, the cynosure of more than a dozen eyes present there. I find myself bit shy with girls (unknown) that’s why I was putting more effort and trying to conceal my nervousness.I came to know many a things like, she is at home for one week, on Sunday morning she’ll be in Hyderabad (she had her job there.), about the place where they live in Jamshedpur...... Finally we reached Jamshedpur and still after the journey of 3 hours it felt like, perhaps train had reached the destination bit earlier.
Beta jara iska bag utaar dena, her father interrupted me.She smiled and I replied her smile stupidly as if I’d been caught by girl’s father. I told, it‘ll be heavy being the girl’s baggage.She stood-up staring me, frowning almost, making beautiful designs with her brows. And i was there to realize the truth; a lady looks more beautiful when she is angry.With certain non verbal exchanges she decided to help partially in dragging the luggage out of the train, although it was her own luggage. On platform her father started talking with all the good words from his dictionary for only available two good guys or coolies, whatever he had thought of us and she was counting and checking her luggage.I was talking to her father when she came from backward with a sweet smile and said “Thanks ...nice meeting you.........., bye” and they left.I personally don’t like those parting scenes and if it is with a beautiful girl, it’s like double pain with a single needle.Sanat was back to his work, “i had a handshake with her while you were talking to her father”. He reminded me of mine stupidity that I dint even ask for her name. I was confused like an Indian fielder who is being questioned by his team-mates after a drop catch. I found myself heading towards the way through which they had passed. This time sanat originally pulled me, not by legs, but through arms with some trademark gaaliya. .......................................And he was almost dragging me towards the exit. Then after...... I enjoyed the trip and had almost forgotten that girl. I was back to college and was attending the normal classes when this happened. In a leisure period we decided to go for a tea break.Sometime those breaks are fun but for most of the time they are the result of a frustrating lecture. But the tea break costed me more that day.While we were in mid of our tea, a friend of mine called me. He told, “Where are u? Something is written on classroom board about u.I came back to class and next 5-10 min was a real tough time. I entered classroom with my eyes following my toes and heard a big laughter. Off course that was for me, for the things written there on the board. I came to my seat and finally saw those words.Wow....... my reaction. I am confused, which emotion is mastering my mind right now- Anger, embarrassment or something else. Krishna is again in love wd a girl........name, her whereabouts- kuchh pata nahi.........predicted name.......she‘ll leave for Hyderabad on Saturday, train-? He’s planning to meet her once...And I was there, speechless........a single prey among all those fun lovers. Even after the class i was convinced that i must go for her.Sanat was the main culprit; backing me all the times from classroom to room.....i can come with you if you wish........chaap lebish naa. And I too decided to go for it.But many among my friends were also against my decision. I still remember the words.......krishna tum kya shahrukh khan ho........ki jaoge gumshuda-gumshuda karte aur larki mil jayegi.But thanks to my sis madhu who backed me and said, kyon nahi jaoge....u r in college and this is the time to enjoy and encash all these moments.
So finally i was ready and started checking the train list to find the train she was about to board. I guessed with all the little information i had with the 3 hour gup-shup and come-up with the solution.........the train must be the FALAKNUMA EXP. In my next post u'll find about the journey....the quest. Whether we find her or not.......stay connected and find out.

...chalte-chalte...the meeting and the quest...

The Quest

So FALAKNUMA EXP. had been decoded but a lot was yet to be found. On Friday (day b4 leaving for kharagpur) I was at my friend’s place discussing the outfits to be worn next morning and I dint returned hostel that night. I was there in my college uniform so I had to arrange for clothes before going to bed that night. A denim donated by prady and a shirt from sujeet’s bag were chosen for me.
We began our day (Saturday) bit earlier. At 3 am, in morning I was dozing off at bus stop accompanied by Sanat and prady who were finally agreed to come. We reached kharagpur Jn. about more than 1 hr before the schedule departure of FALAK. EXP. We started searching everywhere and searched in each train but result ..........negative.
A futile effort, finally, ‘I thought, but my bouncers were not in a mood to spare. We should check the reservation list, one among them advised and we almost ran on the platform for the Res.list. I found a name similar to her probable name and too it was in the list of FALAK. EXP. The name was K Shandhya. Now, everything was there.........her name.........birth no........but wasn’t there............................ her whereabouts and the surety that we were heading in the right direction. Steel exp was announced and it was our last hope.
I was standing on the foot over bridge when the passengers started getting off. Suddenly I saw her father descending from one of the coach with two ladies. Yeppp...........she was there, carrying her purse and directing her father to the platform side. Her first glimpse gave me a relaxing smile. I thought of myself, yeaaa I am tired and feeling bit sleepy. Sanat was coming towards me, talking with mobile and live telecasting the scenario to the friends back in haldia. We clapped our hands and were about to share many a things when I saw her climbing the stairs of the over bridge. I got blank...........what to do...........and started moving opposite to her. Soon we descended down from the other end of the bridge and were standing near the booking counter. She was coming nearer and nearer to us and I hadn’t yet decided what to do. As she was almost near me I turned my neck. Prady also joined us there and as always full up to neck with confidence, he started dragging me towards the ticket counter, ‘We can talk to her at ticket counter as well’. I dint move. Putting my hands on his shoulder I asked, ‘guys, what next’ and sanat replied, ‘she is coming’. I shifted my balance on my own feet and this time, caught by her eyes. She was looking sad, gloomy.............is it for me............no-no, she is returning today and yes......................... ladies are very fond of making-up with tears whether willingly or unwillingly before leaving. I was about to laugh on my own thought when she exclaimed, “arey! tum yehaaan”.
‘We used to hang here often,’ I replied, ‘but what’s u doing here’.
‘I am returning today, haven’t u seen my tears’, she added. And first time I noticed, corner of her eyes......soaked in tears.
‘Papa has also come, why not u people come with me. He’ll be happy to meet you.’
First time in the day sanat did something which really elated me. ‘We have to pick luggage’, sanat told us and left us alone, almost dragging prady with him. So I was whole alone with her, bit nervous but determined...............this time I have to start with her name. We were on our way to the platform, in subway when my courage softly came through my mouth, ‘last time I dint even ask for your name’. Actually telling her about mine stupidity was a question thrown to her and she dint disappoint me anyway, ‘sandhya’. ‘This is your full name, I asked again ‘or there is something .........from K before sandhya’. It’s Krishnamurthy, my dad’s name. But how u came to know about it and....... ........... .......
He could not hide his delight, arey beta aap? I was just next to her father.
A person ought to be cautious while talking to a girl’s father and so was I. I sensed a hidden question, even in his delight and explained enough to clear his doubts. She introduced me with her elder sister (she was busy with PHOTO ALBUM) and soon I was invited too to see the albums. Prady and sanat joined us almost at the same time. While I was busy with her, identifying her colleagues from the album, both of my friends were whispering in my ear continuously.........kya hua............kuchh baat bani.........naam poochha.........mob no.liya. And just 1 thing struck my mind....mob no.
‘If you find any problem here, u can call us’, I conveyed her. ‘You haven’t given your no. yet, how will I call you......kya yehi se krishna-krishna chillana paregaa..
And what a fast reflex...............almost frantically, in a hurry...... I gave her my no. and she couldn’t help laughing. Sanat returned the courtesy of asking for no. from our side. Really I dint had thought of even doing it and he was done. She waffled for few seconds but dint dismayed us.

Sometimes in life u can feel that on an odd day your luck is favouring you exceptionally. And that was the particular day for me. Her father had to leave for Jamshedpur before the departure of Falaknuma express and like last time we were ready to carry on the responsibilities. It gave me a good half an hour for exchanging our thoughts. We were talking and waiting for the train while sanat pulled my shirt to show something. Almost together we turned to other side............and what we found......prady had advanced good enough with her sister. Train came and half-heartedly I bid good-bye from the platform but sanat pushed me inside the train. After arranging her luggage I sat beside her. This time I was quite and she was blabbering......I asked her slowly, ‘should we talk sometimes later’. Firstly she made her eyes big.....bigger as if sayings......how dare you.......but spoke finally, ‘I’ll call you’. And her response was so much favourable that it made me smile. ‘Your eyes are scary’ and she answered...... ...... a pleasant smile and smiles only. It was the time of departure as train rolled finally. A final handshake........few words.......but not much of facial expressions and I left the train. But this time I was bit happier than the last parting with her and we set for our return journey.

.............tRibuTe.................

I am telling you a story. The very first day of boarding school, there was this guy...............bit nervous, afraid of coming moments and.......and trembling a lot. Noisy and crowded atmosphere around was even not enough to bring some smile to him, though it was making him feel ill at ease. He was so much frightened that on reaching his room after his parents left him, he fell.......vomited on his bed and caught fever. The person who came for the rescue operation.........yeah, it was not less than a rescue operation, was supposed to be his classmate and was allotted bed just next to this poor fellow. The first day in school and two strangers were no more strangers. They became friends.

The guy who fell sick was no other than me and the rescue man was Ajay.........a cute and helpful guy and I was the first one among my class to have his helping hand.

There was something common among us. We were very much interested rather devoted to sports. We started playing and quarreling together. He was the one with whom I had fought many a times. The competition for coming out superior than each other organized free wrestling events for other friends and the audiences were entertained always without even paying. Either it was hundred meter race or cricket, playground or room everywhere, for everything we argued. This was the chemistry between us. In spite of all this, we were friends. Whenever we played match with seniors, we made a lot of strategies together, even fixing the fielding positions with pen and paper together in our room on the previous night of the match.

He also used to feel same for me as he wrote....... (Something from, what he wrote in my diary)

Maine 6^th class me sabse pahle tum se hi dosti ki. Hum logo ka bed aas-pas raha aur hum shuru se hi sports mein interested the. Aur shuru-shuru mein jhagra bhi bahut hota tha lekin sayad ye humara larakpan tha aur humdono hi ekdusre k bare mein jyada nahi jante the.Bahut hi maja aata tha jab humlog match khelte the aur tum spin bowling karte the aur sabse pahla match jab humlog seniors se jeete the tub tum hi us match ke hero the.Mai wo match jeet kar bahut khush hua tha really aur fir humare beech khub competition hota tha achha khelne k liye.

He always shared a good relation with seniors and with him I started my interaction with seniors. We were in tenth std when he shifted from Raman house to Siddhartha house for last three months. I was in Siddhartha house.

During my school days there was a girl who used to be at top on my crush list. But she was transferred for 1 yr to another school when I was in tenth, and the outcome.............I became restricted to very few activities (no more MD, no more MF). But Ajay had started seeing a girl and we were busy discussing many a things. We used to call him AFTAB that time. We prepared together for the exams, but never missed a chance to do the stuffs, we liked the most. I along with santosh, Chandan, Rajan and of course Ajay played almost every game and touched every court present in our campus.

There is an incident......................very funny but interesting.

Our first pre-board exams were over and on 26^th of January we had to play the opening match of the tournament being organized at our school ground. Ajay, I and Chandan were supposed to represent our school team. The opponent team had arrived but three of us were not even put our jersey. Coz in morning we were reproached by our chemistry sir.............very badly. PT sir told us that he would talk with Sharma sir (chem. Teacher). We came to the ground fully prepared and totally assured by PT sir (Tiwari sir) but one more problem was waiting for us, there. This time this was Yadav sir (Maths teacher) with a stick standing in one corner of the ground and waiting for us very patiently along with other spectators. The spectators were waiting to see players in action and sir was waiting for action against the players (three of us). We gave Yadav sir a tough run. We hide behind the scoreboard and appeared in ground only when the toss was over and play started.

Ajay had a dream of playing cricket for India like other two third of teenagers of this country. I was also not an exception. He was the keeper-batsman of our team. From his pen.......hum sapne mein kabhi-kabhi majak mein dekhte hai ki hum aur tum dono ek hi saath indian cricket team mein khel rahe hai. Khair sapna to sapna hi hai Pr impossible to kuchh bhi nahi hai. This was he, with never dyeing attitude and full of enthusiasm. I remember one match when we were playing District league and while chasing we were eight down with 40-50 runs more required for win. He went to bat and told PT sir, “sir dekhiyega ab hum jeet kr hi aayenge” and we won that match.

It was a coincident or what, I dnno but it was true that we were like complimentary to each other in many games. He was my TT and Carom partner in doubles. We used to play Volleyball from same place. So we played Smasher and Booster one by one. We were together representing Patna region at the school nationals (basketball) at kapurthala.

We really had a great time together. After our 12^th he left for Delhi and almost settled there. We were almost same in build but during one of my Delhi visits I found him one and half times of old Ajay. He had a very cute face and with this build he was a complete package for *****.

On my birthday he called me and we had a very long chat..........obviously we were trapped again in our school days.

19^th October...................

I was going to play cricket. Dint enjoyed diwali yesterday as no one among our group was as much cheerful that much we used to be. There was a call from Santosh . I was in my midway to college. I received the call and get this unpleasant news. He told, “Kp, Ajay is no more”. For an instant I dint understand what he said, but when I realized what he had said, I felt like, no more energy left in me. My feet were trembling. I sat there, near the junior hostel and inquired further on the phone but even my sound was not coming clearly. Till night I was waiting for a call......... (If someone would've called me to tell that this was a crap, a pure joke). But neither the GOD keeps mobile phone nor they crack jokes. Tomorrow morning I found a scrap from animesh (I lost someone who was very dear to me) and in a second, all my hopes vanished.

Is this the way..........we had planned about us. How much we had thought ......the future get-togethers, picnics, a TT board in our house, an indoor facility to play cricket in night and .................many a things and yet the things haven’t started off and you left us.

Why..............?

Perhaps, GOD loved you more than anybody among us. You had created a void, and no one among us can complete full story of their life without you, as a big part is always intertwined with you. Whenever someone talks about friends or school days or even combination in game it’s very hard for me to bind my tears. The prevailing feeling now is to meet my friends and loved ones as soon as I get time. I even had dreams of them and school from some days.

Ajay I dnt know whether it’s good for me or bad but the thing is that I cnt forget you. Our paths had crossed as many times in those seven years we spent together and our lives had as much unkemptly tied that rearranging it is simply impossible. If there is ur's kp and there is sports, u cnt be forgotten. We‘ll miss you always.

Ek pal ehsaas ban k aatey ho, Aur dusre pal khwaab ban k urr jatey ho

Yeh maloom hai ki tanhai se darr hai hamey, Phir bhi baar baar tanha chhor jatey ho

"Miss You"

A lonely saturdaY

This time while sitting beside the window watching leaves of a tree being soaked by rain water, I felt a sheer loneliness. Wet monsoony air filling my lungs seemed to bring some relief. I get nearer to window to have more of it. They are playing Bengali songs (Puja songs). Bengalis are very Festive, so much of fanfare there. Guys had gone for JSPL, so no more hanging around. JSPL i.e. Jindal Steel premier league like other premier leagues emerging from everywhere.

So I was finding ways to sort out my loneliness. Gtalk, not a good option either. I should penned down something ....... something from my vacation, I thought. I spent this vacation in the manner, ‘m not use to be. Man is a social creature and I am also not an exception. But I think up to some extent I like being in group the most than friends around me.

I find myself good at reading peoples and their behaviour. But this time....this happened. I learnt that ..................yet I have to learn a lot. The one thing which I missed throughout my college life is the compatibility level of peoples, of which I was used to in my school days. After completing my four years almost, yet I am unable to identify the faces around me. And this time “Jor ka jhatka jara jor se laga hai”. May be being professional or practical have something to do with it I dnno, but it’s true. Friendship is the relation which is fully and solely depends upon the persons related. No one interferes while you are choosing your friends. You‘ll be credited for all good outcomes but you have to accept its evils also. Any way “ye mere dost hain aur inhe maine choose kiya hai”. During hours of my friendship tutorial, I certainly missed some people, my sis and some of my friends .........especially one who behaves as a sink to me.

This was the first ever DP when I was not at my home. Although I am not very fond of being at home, as I don’t have a single friend there in spite I missed faces at home very much. Either going for morning walk with papa or irritating mom with my activities in kitchen, going for chaat aur samosa with my sweet lovely sister or being webbed in stupid questions of my younger brother, I missed all those stuffs. Why I bunked my vacation this time? Till now I’ve not figured it out. I haven’t spent much time with them since some years.

Apart from feeling hard also played hard in these off hours. Sometimes cricket then after Basketball followed by Table-tennis and tired myself a lot. May be feeling like covering for India’s disappointing CT campaign in South Africa. Bhul gaye kya................it happens man. Anyway, better luck next time.

Ufffff.............

Someone is shouting. It's ashu........yeaaa, ok.

It’s time for table-tennis now. Gotta go, but’ll be back soon with a brand new post.